Why, Why, Why? For the Scientists and Rationalists in Wizards
by Natsushi
Summary: For those who wonder how and why some things happen the way they do in the Wizarding World, here's a few answers. I am taking suggestions as well.
1. Secrets in the Bathroom

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Just a funny thought. Enjoy!

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Secrets in the Bathroom

In the future, people often wondered why Salazar Slytherin put the entrance to his Chamber of Secrets in a girls' bathroom. Did he want to cover his tracks? No one would think to look for a man's secret in a girl's bathroom, so that was pretty smart. Did he want to be funny? Not likely, given his reputed demeanor.

But not many stopped to notice that a thousand or so years ago, there was no such as a bathroom. Bathrooms—tubs, toilets and sinks in general were Muggle-Wizard collaborative projects that came about in the 1500s (but in the end the Muggles had had to make their own versions, because they didn't have magical water supplies).

Hogwarts' plumbing came about in the mid-1800s. When installed, Hogwarts, including the hidden Chamber of Secrets, rearranged itself to fit the new additions. The entrance tunnel, originally sealed behind a portrait of Souregard Slytherin in his grandfather's, Salazar's, old, fourth-floor office, had now been re-routed. Unfortunately, it had been moved to the bricks and mortar underneath a toilet in a second-floor girls' bathroom. Unsurprisingly, the mechanical water system found itself draining into the long-lost Chamber of Secrets.

A hundred or so years later, a confused and disgusted boy discovered the opening using his serpentine minions. He gave it a more dignified opening…as dignified as he could in a _girls'_ bathroom that is.


	2. Trains, Cars, Planes, and Buses

**Trains, Cars, Planes, and Buses**

**A Treatise on Transportation in Great Britain**

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Wizards don't own cars, they use brooms. Wizards, particularly underage wizards, take the Knight Bus, if they are tired or are lost. But _why_? Why are cars so Muggle, but the Hogwarts Express is acceptable? Flooing and Portkeying and Apparating, but no driving or flying airplanes?

Heh heh. That's what _they_ want you to think! The broom and Floo industries—backed by supporters of lunatic, blood-purists like Grindelwald and Riddle/Voldemort—have dominated the transportation venues of wizards for the majority of the twentieth century. Before then, though there was resistance against Muggle methods and concepts, there wasn't the fear of estrangement, even death, attached to their use and study.

Trains were deemed acceptable after the mid-nineteenth century intervention by Minister Gambol, when she literally forced Hogwarts students to use the train or not go to school at all. After this move, trains slowly bled into British Wizarding culture, and became an acceptable method of transport for many. Nowadays, many of the wizards and witches of Great Britain use trains regularly. Several even use Muggle lines regularly. Now, an entire network has been constructed for wizard-use only, most famous of which is the new Granger Circuit installed in 2006, when Hermione Granger-Weasley joined the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The Granger Circuit is centered in London and webs out across Britain, connecting areas for both local and long-distance transport. But this Circuit is generations late of its time. On the Continent, such rail systems have been in place since Muggles invented them. But that's because there was never any need for a separate system for wizards, they just used the Muggle lines, and that is how it should have been.

Now some may ask, what about older transportation systems—carriages and boats and pack animals? Carriages and animals are still used, as novelty transport or as a desperate measure, as they are in any place or for any group in the world. Boats are quite unnecessary, though sometimes used, as wizards wishing to transport such large distances use Portkeys or Apparate which are much faster ways to travel. As for ferrying large amounts of cargo? Well, the great thing about magic is that large things can be shrunk down to small and carried in a pocket.

Cars, buses, and planes both came around during the reign of Gellert Grindelwald. Grindelwald was notorious for his extreme views on Muggles and Muggle objects. Anything with remotely Muggle origin was shunned by him, deemed fit for use only by 'lowly Muggles'. Anything that he and his followers believed useful or convenient, they would keep and claim that it had 'wizard-ness', and so trains, toilets, and pumpkin juice remained normal for wizards to use. At this point in history, cars had just gotten rolling, all the Muggles had one. Planes were nearing completion by the American wizard Orville Wright, and his Muggle brother, Wilbur (distant relatives of Bowman Wright, inventor of the Golden Snitch, flying machines apparently run in the family).

Though American wizards happily took in both cars and planes, Grindelwald refused their immersion into British Wizarding society. He _destroyed_ vendors that sold these goods to wizards. He raided Wizarding households, purging them of 'unsophisticated' Muggle items. And so, through fear, wizards stopped using Muggle transportation systems at all. Up until then, many wizards and witches, particularly Muggleborns and Half-bloods, often using Muggle trains and taxis. But as Grindelwald rose to power, they stopped. Rumors began to circulate about how this was better for the Wizarding community. About how magic and 'Muggle contraptions' did not mix without mishap.

How incorrect. Magic and _electronics_ do not mix well. For magic and electricity are both forms of energy. Different, but still the same type of substance. These two types of energy cause chaos when mixed in _large _quantities. So a convention of wizards should not go to an electronics store, but if a few gathered to watch television, nothing would happen. This is why Muggleborn children do not cause any more mass explosions or other problems than Wizarding children when exhibiting signs of magic, even though they are around electronic their whole childhood.

With the first reign of Riddle/Voldemort 1969-1981 and then his return from 1995-1998, the same thing happened. Anything related to Muggles and not directly benefitting wizards was frowned upon and thought of as backwards. It got to the point that those associating with Muggles, much less using their types of transport, were killed. Who would dare try to use a Muggle subway then?

For nearly a century, multiple generations of wizards and witches were fenced away from technological advances, who knows how many current Muggle ideas and items could have been given a Wizarding flavor? How many decades of science and understanding are now lost? But now, with the increasing tolerance for collaboration with Muggles and their ideas, perhaps wizards will resume the old path of thinking and growing.

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A/N: Dry, yes. A little rushed, yes. But though I wish I could've made it funnier, I really like it. Reviews are much appreciated! Also, I'm taking suggestions for more shorts like this one.

Oh, and thank you to HPWiki for a lot of the facts in this little essay. The only thing, to my knowledge, that is NOT HPWiki canon is the Circuit stuff that I made up.


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